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Les boulets…trop lourds
L’acidité de mes propos explose exponentiellement parallèlement à l’accumulation d’heure de présence hospitalière…pour faire court, depuis mon retour guadeloupéen le 17 février, j’entame la 120ème heure de ma semaine de 14 jours…et depuis hier j’accumule les boulets…et moi les boulets c’est plus fort que moi mais faut que je les acidifie grave !
Donc en cette belle journée pré printanière du 27 février vers 16h zéro zéro, mon ticket de flip flap tour gratuit (mais pour vous c’est 2500 euros les 30 minutes !) en poche, les checkups de la sécurité civile vérifiés (dix minutes…no comment mais Poussin is on board alors la sécurité est primordiale !!), 50 minutes de vol au dessus de la côte (sauvage…grrrrr) de la côte atlantique, me voilà arrivé à Bayonne pour assurer le transport d’un nouveau né aux intestins scandaleusement paresseux et aux malformations multiples pour le CHU de Bordeaux…
Passablement énervé d’emblée car je savais qu’après ce transport, je devais enquiller sur un autre (Bordeaux-Dax…Dax-Bordeaux), je descends de la flip flap machine sur la DZ du toit hospitalier de la côte basque. Premier boulet…Je dois prendre l’ascenseur spécial sécurisé pour me rendre dans les profondeurs abyssales de l’établissement de santé. Mais ce n’est pas un ascenseur ordinaire…juste un monte charge de luxe commandé à l’extérieur par un agent de sécurité, pas futé…Je suis seul à l’intérieur. Et là….c’est presque la tour de la terreur parce que cette cage où je suis prisonnier tombe assez rapidement d’un étage avec un bruit lourd métallique comme si elle venait de se décrocher…je n’ai pas peur certes mais là je ne suis quand même pas rassuré. Le premier boulet aurait pu me prévenir que c’était normal !!!!! Celui là je n’ai pas pu l’acidifier mais la prochaine fois je ne vais pas le louper !
J’arrive néanmoins à destination avec tous mes membres encore bien attachés.
Malheureusement quand on a la chance de croiser un premier boulet, celui-ci en cache régulièrement un deuxième…souvent pire !…ben je l’ai eu. Tout d’abord gentil, il m’accompagne dans le dédale de couloir et d’ascenseur…labyrinthe torturé sorti de l’imagination d’un architecte ayant assurément eu un bad trip avec une très mauvaise extasy (genre faut prendre un ascenseur pour descendre 1 mètre…ben oui le nouveau bâtiment n’est pas à la même hauteur que l’ancien…j’hallucine grave !)…jusqu’au service où je trouve mon petit colis. Examen clinique du nouveau-né, lecture du dossier médical, ajustement des prescriptions, changement de perfusion (matériel non compatible forcément entre 2 établissements de santé…) bref je bosse et je n’enfile pas des perles…Le deuxième boulet commence sans doute à trouver le temps long et m’informe qu’une autre flip flap machine doit atterir dans 22 minutes…genre dépêche toi je n’ai pas que ça à faire de t’attendre…et moi de lui répondre « et alors ? Je ne peux pas aller plus vite que la musique…et l’autre hélico ben il devra attendre un peu…(genre chacun son job !) »
Mon deuxième boulet commence à souffler. Ça m’agace. L’acide me monte en bouche…acide oui mais subtil.
Je finis de m’occuper de mon bébé. Installé confortablement et en sécurité dans son incubateur volant. Nous pouvons repartir…il reste 15 minutes avant que l’autre hélico n’atterrisse…je le fais remarquer à mon deuxième boulet…je l’agace….
Il me lance : « j’espère que vous n’avez pas demandé votre mutation au pays basque. Vous ne l’aurez pas ! »
Moi : « Pfff le pays basque je n’ai aucunement l’attention de m’y installer…ça tombe bien ? »
Lui : « Parce que vous savez, on a refait le plein de bonbonne de gaz !! »
Il me menace le boulet !
Moi : « Faut faire attention avec ces petite choses…ça peut vous exploser en pleine face ! »
Les échanges furent très cordiaux jusqu’à ce que je remonte enfin dans mon engin volant…
En le quittant, mon boulet basque, je le salue bien bas et lui envoie : « L’indépendance ne vous sauvera pas »…(sous entendu personnel : tu resteras toujours aussi c..)
J’ai sans doute mauvais caractère quand je suis crevé et énervé…mais faut pas me chercher !
Je déteste les boulets.
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Il ne faut pas lui voler dans les plumes à Poussin sinon il donne des coups de bec et il a raison. Un coup de seringue avec un sédatif cela lui aurait fait du bien à cet abruti.
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LOL Ces Basques alors ! Ils ont vraiment le caractère explosif
Nous sommes aussi revendicatifs en Catalogne Nord (le Roussillon demandant le rattachement à la mère-patrie, Barcelone) mais pas aussi cons quand même.